I don't think brook has ever known best
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize