I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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