He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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