Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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