If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
