Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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