I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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