I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
