no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
