no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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