My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
