i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
