I CAN MOONWALK!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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