mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
