So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
