Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
