i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
