I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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