I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize