Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
