I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
