That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
