There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
