Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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