who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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