u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
