I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize