After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
