She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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