Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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