did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
