I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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