my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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