I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize