he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
