i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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