I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
