marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
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the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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