what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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