Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize
