people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
