i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
