worst night to have a conscience
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
