she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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