Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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