you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
