im drinking this country out of the recession.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize