your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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