Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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  (954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter http://tfl.nu/xmwz
  Replies (17) Good night (2245) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Where??

  (310): View more from California

  Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry

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  (323): Where?? (310): Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry http://tfl.nu/dekj
  Replies (25) Good night (3251) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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  (828): finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night... http://tfl.nu/doej
  Replies (12) Good night (720) Bad night (4678)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"

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  (517): the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed" http://tfl.nu/ho10
  Replies (132) Good night (5255) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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  (970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg
  Replies (100) Good night (6694) Bad night (2402)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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  (717): Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge http://tfl.nu/tbkl
  Replies (7) Good night (5610) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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  (727): You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on. http://tfl.nu/u7oz
  Replies (22) Good night (1259) Bad night (5332)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man

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  (502): At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man http://tfl.nu/m2kp
  Replies (12) Good night (3183) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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  (406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k
  Replies (9) Good night (3208) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

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  (517): well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle. http://tfl.nu/5dkw
  Replies (11) Good night (1816) Bad night (1829)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???

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  (402): I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end??? http://tfl.nu/eolj
  Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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  (908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi
  Replies (4) Good night (1664) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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  (814): He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice. http://tfl.nu/r5ev
  Replies (10) Good night (670) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.

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  (585): You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking. http://tfl.nu/3gz9
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (297)

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