Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????

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  (310): i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE???? http://tfl.nu/et58
  Replies (9) Good night (1899) Bad night (680)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

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  (480): So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction. http://tfl.nu/bt6f
  Replies (54) Good night (805) Bad night (4358)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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  (207): it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho. http://tfl.nu/14wc
  Replies (27) Good night (4700) Bad night (915)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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  (504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n
  Replies (11) Good night (2515) Bad night (4248)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

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  (401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq
  Replies (28) Good night (1506) Bad night (5419)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?

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  (205): remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/cz0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1634) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

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  (973): Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride http://tfl.nu/vufa
  Replies (23) Good night (5251) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this

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  (540): I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this http://tfl.nu/doar
  Replies (5) Good night (2178) Bad night (671)
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  (925): View more from California

  Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

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  (925): Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious. http://tfl.nu/2nhd
  Replies (4) Good night (730) Bad night (1594)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

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  (907): You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools. (1-907): That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day. http://tfl.nu/rl6v
  Replies (5) Good night (1598) Bad night (468)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?

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  (808): Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space? http://tfl.nu/h1sf
  Replies (12) Good night (1376) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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  (912): I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations. http://tfl.nu/gyzy
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.

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  (701): You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole. http://tfl.nu/p45w
  Replies (6) Good night (746) Bad night (628)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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  (804): Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT http://tfl.nu/kgfg
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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  (731): It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked. http://tfl.nu/thm4
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (228)

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