i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.