Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Randomize
Follow @tfln