I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?