Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.

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  (404): Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that. http://tfl.nu/7nr6
  Replies (2) Good night (824) Bad night (472)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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  (701): entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place http://tfl.nu/zqzf
  Replies (8) Good night (6085) Bad night (1307)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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  (317): my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive http://tfl.nu/067t
  Replies (31) Good night (5763) Bad night (1247)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.

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  (402): Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier. http://tfl.nu/f40g
  Replies (16) Good night (2920) Bad night (1532)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."

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  (847): well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms." http://tfl.nu/dhb2
  Replies (12) Good night (5966) Bad night (857)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.

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  (715): I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro. http://tfl.nu/7eu0
  Replies (8) Good night (865) Bad night (2323)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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  (815): Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess. http://tfl.nu/3e7p
  Replies (13) Good night (2314) Bad night (1201)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1560) Bad night (1148)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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  (570): The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night. http://tfl.nu/1ay9
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (422)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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  (307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (391)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (1048) Bad night (374)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.

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  (615): How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long. http://tfl.nu/h6mm
  Replies (16) Good night (1143) Bad night (379)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank

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  (702): Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank http://tfl.nu/6bon
  Replies (6) Good night (427) Bad night (862)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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  (936): Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible. http://tfl.nu/yk56
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (263)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.

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  (406): I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest. http://tfl.nu/pzd0
  Replies (8) Good night (335) Bad night (536)

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