i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
