well I can't set my house on fire every night
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I party with great urgency now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
