the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize