I just threw up on my dentist
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize