why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
