I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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