he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
