I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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