is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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