Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
