Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
