Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
