it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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