Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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