The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
