smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I didn't notice because vodka
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
